The Hawk

Same crowd all the time with a few wanderers. Some guys are ok but others are downright obnoxious and full on turds. Was alot better a few years ago but like everywhere has gone downhill fast. The friendliest bartenders are Troy and Bob. If they arent there dont spend anymore time. An irritating development is the habit of guys playing the internet jukebox with their smart phones. Customers have gotten into the annyoing habit of playing 20 or more songs without anyone knowing. Jukebox runs nonstop for three or more hours. So get used to listening to other people's tunes all night long. If you don't like the music it gets boring pretty fast, as eye candy is in short supply. The bartenders are the only reason to go anymore.

It has its moments

I don't know why men become a fan but provide no comments- I would like to know why they like these places, specifically. The Hawk, for those who are new to it or to Cleveland, is a unique place, to say the least. Like every six months the type of customers change. For a while it was overwhelmingly twinkies and old queens, then it became bears and chubs, and now its slowly going back to the queeny and twinky side. The number of young bois and their str8t girl companions has increased suddenly of late. So why do I go? Well, the attitude level is the lowest in Cleveland, the crowd is usually diverse, and it's a place you can be yourself- few stand and model types or designer kidz here. On the down side, it can be gross some nights- that's when to leave quickly. It's mostly a hit or miss kind of place. Fun nights are very fun, but slow nights are a slow death. Some bartenders will serve guys until they are thoroughly plastered- that's when the obnoxious factor can ruin your time. There are a few customers who should not return- a strange couple that argues a lot, a fat black queen who leers at young guys, and one particular black queen with sickening bad breath all come to mind. It's a small bar, so it can become too close for comfort pretty fast. Only go if Chris B., Troy, or Bob are bartending. The other bartenders either like to ignore customers, have lame attitudes, or just irritate you.

Casa di Turdlings

Imagine a mouthfart or a swiss cheese and baloney on rotten pumpernikel samwich. You have now experienced the Hawk. Enjoy the sensation of tasting a real live douchebag while watching human douchebags blow figurative chunks of gayness.

Queer in the original sense of the word

Walking into the hawk is like entering a parallel universe. when its freezing cold outside the bartenders keep the door open. why?! customers complain to no avail. ive had a bartender flat out refuse to close the door when it was forty something degrees outside because he liked the cold breeze. yeah thats what i call customer service. you can wait an eternity for a drink if the bartender doesnt think youre hot. still guys come here. i have no idea why. you have to be excruciatingly drunk and horny to spend or waste your time and cash here. and yes too many obnoxiously drunk men here who will ruin your night.

Not for your average club queen

When the Hawk is fun it really is a monster time but when it's slow or the crowd is loud and super drunk it's best to leave quickly. The bartenders are friendly but for a couple self-absorbed queens. Most of the guys are OK but it only takes a few to spoil a fun evening. Unfortunately for normal guys, a few crazy homos and straight girls like to cause drama and too many patrons oblige them. Thursday and Friday nights and Sunday afternoons are best, but Wednesday nights are sometimes good. Chris B (Thursday and Friday night) is everyone's favorite bartender. Troy (Wed and Sun night) can be nice but also somewhat of a drama queen in his own right. The Internet jukebox has tons of selections and never stops on busy nights. The location is convenient with lots of parking on Detroit. Definitely the place if you like working men, bears, and cubs. Another plus, drinks are cheap but only Coors Lite is on draft. The mixed drinks are about strength not flavor. In other words, a dive for hook ups and hanging with friends when the dance clubs wear thin.